Advice is Toxic!

Advice is toxic!  That is what we teach in our seminars.  But this is a really hard habit to break! Our colleagues and friends often ask us for our opinions and advice.  Our teachers expect us to advise them about what to do in those challenging situations they face.  We are chosen for leadership because we have good ideas and people are willing to follow us.  We just want to be helpful, and save our friends some time & grief.  And we really do have relevant experiences that should be important to share.

But when I give advice, I stop the thinking of the other person.  I take over the conversation space and the thinking.  My idea becomes the only solution to the situation.  The other person’s thoughts and ideas are relegated to the sidelines.  In effect, the other person’s initiative is silenced.

So, what are some stories from your experiences that illustrate the effects of advice-giving on others?

How do you share your valuable experiences so that it doesn’t come off as “advice-giving?”

What are ways to mentor others without giving advice?

We would like to hear from you!  What are your experiences with advice-giving?  Tell us your stories!

By Linda Gross Cheliotes, ACC, and Marceta Fleming Reilly, PCC
Coaching for Results Global