Posts by Frances Shuster, PCC, M. Ed.
Keep Calm And …
Listen First So many times we “think” we know what someone else is thinking or feeling, including the impetus or motivation for her actions. In our fast-paced lives, we often skip the part about truly listening to discover the reality about someone else’s thoughts, what really motivated her actions, and how she might be feeling…
Read MoreKeep Calm. I’m a Coach (Not a fixer)
During the ICF conference held in London, England a few years ago I took some time to explore the city. In the Churchill Museum gift shop I was intrigued by the post cards, “Keep Calm and Carry On”. It seemed to be the mantra of the Londoners during the bombings of World War II. Wanting…
Read MoreI Can’t Help It. It’s Just the Way I Am.
I overheard a conversation recently between a respected school leader and her colleague, Sharon. Sheila seemed frustrated that she felt unable to control all that was swirling about her on campus and also at home. She was lamenting her need to be in control of EVERYTHING. Sharon began to sing “Let It Go”, to which…
Read MoreA Coaching Challenge: Challenging our Client’s Thinking
As coaches, we support and champion our clients. Supportive interactions increase rapport, create harmony and enhance the relationship. Because support at it’s best is about helping others grow and attain whatever they are seeking that is elusive to them, challenging is also an essential ingredient of helping. A healthy amount of discord facilitates change. When…
Read MoreListening WITH
Just as there is a distinction between “listening TO” and “listening FOR”, there is also a distinction between either of these and “listening WITH”. As we listen WITH an open mind and the intent to understand, it becomes impossible to judge or criticize another. Listening WITH requires full presence–mind, body, and heart. When we listen…
Read MoreWhat Do You Listen For?
We have been listening since we were born—even longer than we have been speaking. We have years of forming habits about listening, based on input from family, personality of close adults, positive/negative recognition or attention, nonverbal communication patterns, and “do” or “don’t” messages. These socialization processes result in our listening through filters. These are some…
Read MoreAnother Set of Eyes
As we go through life, we all receive messages that shape our worldview. Some of these messages are empowering and some are self-limiting. As coaches, one of the most impactful things we can do for our clients is to recognize and challenge beliefs, exhibited through language, that limit our clients or keep them stuck. As we listen…
Read MoreAccountability: The Two-Sided Coin of Blame and Ownership
We often associate accountability with blame, being wrong, losing face or even losing our job. We might even define accountability as “clarity about who takes the hit” when things go wrong. Too often we give people more work than they can handle effectively, hold them accountable for getting it all done, and express frustration when…
Read MoreAccountability and Change
Earlier in my career as a central office administrator, my district was undergoing a number of big changes. (A pattern for the ages, it seems.) Because many people then, as is true today, did not welcome change, one of the assistant superintendents posted signs throughout our office showing the “prohibited” sign (red circle with a…
Read MoreChange and Complexity of Thought
By: Frances Shuster, PCC I have been hearing more and more messages in today’s climate about the idea of individuals and thinking. Some say children should not be taught critical or higher order thinking because it encourages them to question the teachings of their parents. Questioning ideas we have heretofore assumed to be true requires…
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