“Yesterday I was clever and wanted to save the world.
Today I am wise and I am changing myself.”
~ Rumi

The quote above introduces the first chapter of our upcoming book, Results Coaching Next Steps: Leading for Growth and Change. We purposefully chose this quote because the message speaks volumes for today’s leaders. Real change begins from within and flows out to those we lead and interact with. Yes, great leaders lead themselves first, while intentionally building relationships that focus and build on strengths of others. School cultures built on trust, transparency, and belief in the strengths and abilities of all—students, staff, parents, community—are the ones that will not only survive, but will flourish.

Daniel Goleman, well known for his work with emotional intelligence identifies five “must have” skills for leaders to maximize their own and their followers’ performance: (Harvard Business Review 10 Must Reads: On Emotional Intelligence, 2015). These five skills are directly related to the behaviors of today’s Coach Leaders. How do you personally connect with these important characteristics and what would you add to each description?

• Self-awareness: knowing one’s strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and impact on others
  Coach Leaders with high self-awareness are intentional about their actions and communications. They understand that their behaviors have an impact on the behaviors of others. They are reflective thinkers and are willing to identify both personal strengths and opportunities for continuous growth. They believe in the benefit of coaching for themselves and for those they lead.
• Self-regulation: controlling or redirecting disruptive impulses and moods
  Leaders who consistently use self-regulation skills understand that certain situations and experiences have the potential to trigger elevated emotions for themselves and for others resulting in possible misunderstandings or conflicts between individuals or within entire groups. Coach Leaders are prepared to identify and deescalate these types of emotions so that confrontations are handled in constructive manners. They value pre-planning and establishing group norms or agreements prior to beginning the work. They provide opportunities for others to express themselves verbally and they listen to understand from other’s perspectives.
• Motivation: relishing achievement for its own sake
  Leaders who value current brain research findings know that motivation is a brain thing and happens when others are personally inspired to engage and release expanded effort to achieve lofty goals for themselves and for the entire group. Interestingly, leaders with high levels of motivation are not satisfied with the status quo. Rather, they are constantly seeking continuous ways to achieve at higher levels. They continuously raise the bar and pursue stretch goals for themselves and for others. Coach Leaders are generous in giving and receiving reflective feedback and support a culture of optimism, even when dealing with the reality of disappointments and hardships. Their language radiates an attitude of “it’s all going to be okay” and “we can do this.”
• Empathy: understanding other people’s emotional makeup
  Coach Leaders are well skilled in the use of empathy. They know from personal experience and from current brain research that it is important to consider other’s feelings before they respond or make decisions which impact others. One way this happens is when leaders listen to understand from other’s perspectives. They know that when they listen in this manner, they have the opportunity to open emotional doors that may be tightly closed, or at the least – closely guarded. Coach Leaders listen not only to what another person is saying, they also know how to listen for clues that are coming forward in they way others speak, in their body language, or through the passion they demonstrate and the stories they tell. When leaders respond to what they have heard through powerful paraphrases or other statements that show they understand or are attempting to understand, it increases the opportunity for a productive outcome. You know what it feels like when you feel understood by another person. Most likely you also know what it feels like to not be understood. Expressing empathy is a must for leaders of today.
• Social skill: building rapport with others to move them in the desired direction
  Successful leaders of today know that their attitude impacts the attitude of the entire group and the accomplishments that follow. They understand that being upbeat and friendly is imperative. They take the time to get to know their staff as individuals and seek to build positive relationships with others. You will see them out interacting with others in ways that demonstrate genuine concern and mutual respect for all. When people feel that they work in an environment where the leader cares about them, they will exert greater effort to achieve lofty goals.

Want to know more about “must have skills” for today’s leaders? Join us for one of our upcoming open seminars or schedule us to come directly to your place of work.

Blog post co-authored by Vicky Dearing, PCC and Frances Shuster, PCC