Listening to See

I called Armando to welcome him as a new client, share my excitement to be his coach, answer questions, and schedule our first session. When I asked what questions he had, Armando said, “After reading your email, I understand it’s my responsibility to call at the scheduled time from a place where I have privacy and freedom from interruptions. However, since I prefer to hold important conversations face-to-face, how does phone coaching work?” I paraphrased, “Our coaching conversations are important to you, and you don’t want miscommunication to be a problem since we won’t be able to see each other.”  “Yes, that’s it!” Armando said.

His response to the paraphrase clarified the question and helped frame my response. In many ways coaching is the same whether it is face-to-face or over the phone.

• It’s a dance between two partners where the client always leads
• The coach’s role is to challenge the client’s thinking without telling him what to think (no advice or leading)
• Both partners need to be fully present (no multi-tasking) and listening fully

Listening is even more important during phone coaching, because we have to hear the non-verbal clues. My experience and training have helped me develop the ability to see with my ears. I listen for changes in speed, voice level, tone, and emotion as well what my client says or leaves unsaid to help build meaning and prevent misunderstanding.

As we ended the call, Armando said, “Thanks for your explanation about how phone coaching works. It was helpful. That and the listening skill I heard you demonstrate during this conversation give me confidence that phone coaching will work. Now I’m ready to get started!”

What are your thoughts about listening? Consider both the listener and the one being listened to.

By Bob Carter
Coaching For Results Global