I overheard a conversation recently between a respected school leader and her colleague, Sharon. Sheila seemed frustrated that she felt unable to control all that was swirling about her on campus and also at home. She was lamenting her need to be in control of EVERYTHING. Sharon began to sing “Let It Go”, to which Sheila responded, “I can’t help it. It’s just the way I am.”

What is the truth in this statement? Yes, some things about ourselves are harder to change than others, and current neuroscience coupled with the growth mindset remind us that we CAN change. How do we effect the change we desire?

• Change requires conscious awareness of a desired state. Taking the “balcony view” or getting outside of self and objectively looking at our new awareness offers a pathway of choice for making change.
• Change requires intentionality and an internal locus of control. Positive change does not occur accidentally or without effort.
• Change requires Time, Attention, Repetition, and Positive Feedback.
• Change occurs incrementally — not all at once. Small steps are key to lasting change.
• Change requires monitoring progress and recommitting as necessary while moving toward a desired state.

As coach leaders, our conversations are imbued with support, encouragement and challenge. We support another’s thinking without judgment while challenging her to perceive in new ways. While we see the best in another, we may also help her become aware of blind spots, shining a light on a new way of thinking, behaving, or being. Caring and skilled coach leaders inspire their colleagues to say, “I am in the driver’s seat, and I continue to progress toward my chosen growth goal, one step at a time.”