As we begin a new year, some people have made New Year’s resolutions while others are still focusing on accomplishing the goals set back in August or September. Either way, what’s essential is receiving feedback to maintain motivation and focus. So many authorities from Harvard and Gallup and many leadership groups tell leaders that staff crave feedback. When done effectively, it is a catalyst for personal and professional growth, enhanced performance, and more engaged employees. Giving feedback is more than just a nice-to-have skill; it is an essential leadership ability that can make or break individual, team, and organizational success.

In Results Coaching: The New Essential and Next Steps (2010/2017), we see how many leaders admit that offering constructive feedback does not always guarantee results. In the authors’ next book, Results Coaching: Transforming Leader to Coach Leader (Fall 2025), we continue to share detailed stories about how important feedback can be—both professionally and personally.

Today, we have so much knowledge about the brain. Do you remember cognitive science expert Dr. David Rock’s SCARF model (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) for brain-based collaboration? When the brain senses a threat, usually in the form of criticism, judgment, or poorly offered constructive feedback, it retreats—which is why so many don’t hear all of what is said. But when the brain is in a safe environment, it is receptive and acknowledges what might be helpful to target for improvement.

This training, reflective feedback, is about value or value potential and builds on positive thinking, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, or impact. For example, the value might be a personal strength, a plan that worked, a kind word or deed, or a commitment to something that will make a difference—something that will make the recipient feel acknowledged for their work and remind them that what they do truly matters.

Following value/value potential statements, we offer reflective questions that presume positive intent to expand thinking while potentially highlighting concerns and possibilities.

Here are a few guidelines for feedback conversations:

• Ask permission and share your motivation and intent. Always do this in a private, comfortable setting where both people feel safe and can speak openly.
• Begin with the employee’s value—what you appreciate about them and how what they do affects the organization positively. Their value could be their commitment to student success, helpfulness, and/or their desire to grow. For example, you might say, “David, it is so clear you care deeply about the decisions made about students and always defend them by sharing their background. What you offer always shows thoughtfulness and is beneficial to the other teachers.”
• Discuss the employee’s behavior. Here’s another example: “In the last team meeting, I noticed something I want you to consider. When you interrupted your colleagues during the meeting, I felt that was uncharacteristic of you. I saw them sit back in their seats and stop participating. That cause-and-effect moment created an atmosphere where valuable perspectives were lost.”
• Access the feelings of your employee. The most effective feedback processes are dialogues; it’s important to demonstrate you care about the employee’s point of view. So, you might ask them, “How do you feel about what I just said?” The question opens the door for both emotional and intellectual responses, providing richer insights.

As your conversation continues, be sure to:

• Listen actively: Give the employee your full attention as they respond. Paraphrase what they say to ensure they know you understood and value their input.
• Be open to new information: Sometimes the employee has information you may not know about.
• Invite solutions with reflective questions: You might ask, “Maybe there’s a better way, possibly even a creative way, to handle that same situation in another meeting so that your fellow team players will be more open to what you have to say. Can you think of a way to do that?”
• Set clear expectations: Articulate what success looks like going forward. Be specific and state why it’s important.
• Be direct should there be defensiveness: Here’s a possible response you might offer: “I sense some defensiveness. You are a strong teacher who cares, and I know you value your fellow teachers. So, in future meetings, you need to let others finish speaking—and not cut them off—before you comment on what they’ve said. Can we agree on that?”

Remember that feedback is most powerful when it’s timely, specific, positive, and supportive. Use “I” statements about what was observed instead of the defensive “you.” Focus on behavior, not personality. Keep in mind this is also an opportunity for leaders to practice empathy, consider other perspectives, and acknowledge challenges. Employees want to do a good job and feel valued and appreciated. reflective feedback is a great way to build a culture of continuous learning, transparency, and retention.

Want to know more about feedback for motivation and focus? Join us at one of our upcoming seminars—or invite us to come to your district.