Listen First
So many times we “think” we know what someone else is thinking or feeling, including the impetus or motivation for her actions. In our fast-paced lives, we often skip the part about truly listening to discover the reality about someone else’s thoughts, what really motivated her actions, and how she might be feeling in the moment or about a specific situation. Listening to understand, and listening FOR the thinking behind the feelings or behaviors that we observe, requires a moment of stillness without judgment.

Keep an Open Mind
We know a lot. We also assume we know a lot. Remain in the flexible mindset of curiosity—open to what we do not yet know. Be open to continuing to learn and grow, realizing that vulnerability and “not knowing” are a normal part of openness to learning and to new and more flexible ways of viewing the world.

Avoid Jumping to Conclusions
The speed of social media has offered us the possibility of not only jumping to our own conclusions, but also to expressing those conclusions to hundreds—even thousands—of people with one “send” or “post”. What could be a topic for exploration, debate or civil discussion quickly becomes attacks and counterattacks about points of view or interpretations, as well as assumptions about the intentions and actions of others.

Maintain Perspective
Ask yourself, “What will be important in the long term? How does this fit into the bigger picture? How might others be viewing or thinking about this topic or incident? What is here for my learning? What is the most effective way for me to move forward? How does this fit within my own worldview? If I were to view this from the balcony or take a helicopter view, what would I be seeing/thinking/feeling?