Powerful Paraphrasing

FEATURES OF PARAPHRASING

• Does not contain judgment.
• Does not interpret.
• Uses the client’s language, voice tone & gestures.
• Is authentically a summary, a recap, brief, not parroting: (summary vs repetition).
• Uses metaphors, identifies key or conflicting points and recognizes emotional shifts.
• When appropriate, it ends with a confirm question vs. interpreting; How accurate is that? Or have I gotten that right?
• It is shorter than the original statement. Paraphrase before asking a question.
• Use “YOU” in place of “I.” Keep the “spotlight” on the other person.

1. “Witness the Struggle” …..the emotion—PRESENCE

• “It seems like you are over the top frustrated with her efforts.”
• “It sounds like you’re disappointed in how you responded.”
• “Your tears appear to represent your pride in how much success you have seen.”

2. Capture the ESSENCE / BOTTOM LINE of what the person wants

• “Sounds like you sang the song, Shake it Off, and have moved.”
• “So, your first action is to….and then you will…..” Accurate?
• “On the one hand you want (or feel, or think), and on the other hand, you want….”
• “So it seems you are faced with competing commitments and want to prioritize.”

3. REFRAME THINKING:  Reframing one’s thinking to a higher or different level. This may be around strongly held: beliefs, values, assumptions, or made clear by concepts, metaphors, mental models, points of view, examples, possibilities, and definitions.

Reframe:

Negative to Position

Problem to Solution

Complaint to Commitment

• “It sounds like some attitudes are impacting you and how you want to inspire and influence your staff.”
• “So, it feels like the train’s headlights require an immediate goal to close the gap for your students.”
• “It appears very clear to you that you want a committed faculty with high morale to guide and elevate the work of providing exemplary learning for your students and want a plan to make it happen!”
• “Your language screams your desire to be a courageous leader for change.”

Advancing Stems:

because…., you are wanting…, and you are looking for…, because you are committed to…