Negative thinking is part of our DNA, inherited from our ancestors. It serves as a form of self-protection. Because it’s so powerful (Russ Harris in The Happiness Trap, 2008 says 80% of everyone’s thoughts contain some form of negative content), it’s important for us to know how to use it in the most effective way so it doesn’t overtake our thoughts and actions leading us in a direction away from what we want.

Think of it this way. You inadvertently step on an escalator headed down, which is against your intentions. What do you do? You either allow the escalator to carry you in a down direction or you intentionally dispute the movement, turn around and move against the flow of motion, walking up the escalator. It’s not as easy. It takes more energy. Yet, you’re willing to put forth the energy because it’s taking you where you want to be.

Let’s take a leadership example. You’re leading a team that’s been assigned a task and to date the team is not only unproductive, they’re disrespectful and rude to each other (not listening, talking over each other, etc.). Your intention is to be a leader who motivates others to work well together and accomplish the task at hand. Yet, the team behaviors begin an internal dialogue like this. “This team is terrible! I’m wasting my time and could accomplish this task by myself in a much more efficient and effective way! Why does this always happen to me?”

You quickly realize that your self-talk is moving you in a down direction, and it’s time to make a fast decision. You ask, “What do I really want here and how will my thoughts best take me in that direction?” You remember a strategy that Barbara Fredrickson offers in her book, Positivity (2011), and you dispute your negative thinking. Fredrickson says to, “Capture your inner critic, the voice in your head that’s skeptical of you and others around you.” She calls it your voice of ill will. Then, as fast as you can, dispute it and say it out loud, with conviction. Use facts. In this case it might sound like this. “This team is made up of very bright individuals that are expressing a desire to be respected for the knowledge they bring to the task. They want an effective and efficient way for us to work together. While we’ve gotten off to a slow start, we will accomplish this task and grow in our respect for each other. Together, we will create a set of norms on how best to work together as we complete our task. I will increase my skills as a leader though this opportunity.”

When your voice of ill will starts up– how do you quickly dispute it by offering up facts to stop that voice and bring forward the language of hope and possibilities?