Cash Nickerson, author of the Samurai Listener, offers us another tool. He took the act of listening apart, identifying its parts with the acronym ARE U PRESENT. He offers this helpful tool to support each of us to be Mindful of how we listen.

• Awareness: Start with basic awareness. Get your face out of your phone, and stop thinking about what you’re going to do later today.
• Reception: Be willing to receive new information. You may be present, but your mind can be closed. Let go of opinions, and be willing to drop your biases.
• Engagement: Being engaged involves back-and-forth fairness, like a Ping-Pong match. “I talk, you talk,” says Nickerson.
• Understanding: Listen with the intention of interpreting what the other person is saying. Get into a place of understanding, where you’re both speaking the same language, figuratively and literally.
• Persistence: Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander. If you get bored and tired, push through to maintain your attention.
• Resolution: Bring the conversation to a close with takeaways and next steps. “Leaders are doers,” says Nickerson.
• Emotions: Respect the existence of emotions and their roles. “Emotions can work for you or against you,” says Nickerson. “Recognize their roles and learn to discern them and their effect on your ability to hear others.”
• Senses: Employ your other senses to help you remember. Look for body language clues or even potential bluffing in the other person.
• Ego: Try to take your ego out of the conversation. A humble leader can listen more easily because they don’t correlate their ego with success.
• Nerves: Look for stress or tension; it can get in the way of being able to listen.
• Tempo: Get in touch with the rhythm of the speaker. Being out of sync with their way of talking can make it hard to listen.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LISTEN

Listening is the basis for growth and advancement, says Nickerson. “Imagine if you went to school and didn’t pay attention to anything–how would you get better?” he asks. “Great leaders advance themselves; they’re self-improvement machines. You can’t advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.”

Listening is also important because all people want love and respect; they want to spend time with people who listen. “Good listeners tend to get advanced and promoted,” says Nickerson. “There’s no greater feeling than when someone listens. Not just pay attention but listen.”

Recognize that listening isn’t an on/off switch. “You could say, ‘Okay, now I’m going to try really hard to listen,’ but that’s not enough,” says Nickerson. “That’s the most basic aspect of listening. Instead, strive to get the big picture and let go of your narrow focus. It’s self awareness – and a lot of biting your tongue.”

Mark Goulson, author of Just Listen, offers leaders many insights about the power of listening. Because the role of leadership is about growing talent, influencing and inspiring people to be their best, he reminds us to be more “interested” than “interesting.”

Next time we will have some final thoughts from Mark Goulson and John Hattie about kids and listening. Thanks for listening!

References: Stephanie Vozza, Fast Company; Cash Nickerson, Samurai Listener; CBS Sunday Morning, Results Coaching: Next Steps; Mark Goulson, Just Listen.