How do you clear all the chatter going on within your body before a coaching conversation, or really any conversation you are about to have, in order to be fully present? One approach I have found to be helpful was introduced to me by Marcia Reynolds, first in a virtual training and then in her book, Coach the Person, Not the Problem (2020). Marcia offers an ideal visualization which helps us to clear our total body for being with another person, or a team. She describes it as a way to open your head, heart and gut before beginning your next conversation. This method holds value for us all. I’ve shared this visualization in our Leadership Coaching seminars and always receive positive feedback on the impact it has on others. Once you learn the steps, you can complete it all in less than one minute. To start, slow down and enjoy each step.

Step 1. ​Sit in a chair and become a witness to your body. Soften your gaze and shift it downward. Notice how your body feels. Shift your position to feel comfortable while sitting upright. ​

Step 2. Feel where your body is making contact with the chair. Feel where you have placed your feet. ​

Step 3. ​Notice your emotional state. Do you feel sad? Calm? Tired? Impatient? Whatever you feel, see if you can relax and release it so you become open to the process you are about to step into. ​

Step 4. Focus on your breathing. Feel your body respond as your breath moves in and out. Feel the temperature of the air as you inhale it into your body. Let your body relax as the air flows out. If you notice specific spots of tension relating to your emotions, breathe into these spots. As you breathe out, let the tension flow out of your body. ​

Step 5. ​Bring your awareness into your brain. Picture an elevator sitting in the center of your mind. The door is open. Allow your thoughts, judgments, and opinions to float into the empty elevator. When they are safely inside, see the door close, leaving your mind free of thoughts. Say the word “curious” to yourself. Breathe in and feel how curiosity opens your mind. ​

Step 6. ​Return to the elevator in your mind. The door is still closed. Watch the elevator float slowly down your body, through your neck, and into your chest, and see it settle in the spot next to your heart. Recall someone or a pet you deeply care about. Or maybe you see a scene that opens your heart. As the elevator door opens, see the person, pet, or place that fills you with gratitude, happiness, or love. Take a deep breath in, and say the word you feel, such as “love,” “happy,” or “grateful.” Feel your heart expand. ​

Step 7. ​Return to the elevator next to your heart. Say goodbye to the person, pet, or place as the door closes. See the elevator float slowly down your body, down your center, and come to rest at the spot just below your navel. A warm glow is coming from the elevator door. When the door opens, there is nothing inside but the warm glow. Feel the warmth of this glow. Recall a time you felt gutsy and determined—a time you spoke up or did something despite your fear. Remember how you felt as you took action or spoke your mind. As you inhale, say the word “courage” to yourself. Let the word settle into the center of your body before you exhale. Keep breathing with your mind on your center, your point of strength.

Step 8. ​Now, open your eyes. Take your open head, heart, and gut with you as you coach or engage in any conversation. After your next coaching session, consider if you had a difficult time accessing one part of the nervous system. I’ve heard, “I can do the gut, but listening to my heart feels awkward.” and “I am always listening with my heart. Sharing what I sense from my gut feels scary.” People who tend to be helpers listen more easily from their heart than their gut. Risk-takers who move quickly on instinct find it easier to listen from their gut than their heart. In your daily interactions, practice receiving from your most vulnerable place to balance the three large organs of your nervous system. This practice will help you open and align your entire nervous system when coaching.

So, what do you think? Trust me, it is worth a try. I wish I had known this visualization when I served as a principal and was preparing for a meeting with staff, parents or students.

Reynolds, Marcia. Coach the Person, Not the Problem (pp. 175-176). Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Kindle Edition.