When’s the last time you tried to get through to someone during a difficult situation? When’s the last time you tried to calm down someone who was acting hostile, angry and argumentative?

If Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone can train police officers and U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiators, he can surely provide us with some well-tried ways to get through to others in difficult conversations.

Here are 5 quick tips from Goulston:

1. Be more interested than interesting. That means – stop talking and start listening with a desire to learn and understand from their perspective.
2. Strive to have them feel understood, valued and interesting. Most people who want to persuade others push too hard. Rather than convincing people, which tends to create resistance, try listening, empathizing and connecting with the person you are trying to sway.
3. Ask questions that encourage them to reflect and then listen carefully to their answers.
4. When people are overwhelmed, let them vent and “exhale” their stress. Then they can listen to you.
5. Instead of hiding a problem, bring it out into the open and discuss it candidly.

Want more? Come to our summer conference and hear Mark Goulston in person and receive a copy of his book, Just Listen. Sign up now!