We all know that feedback is the key to growth. It shouldn’t be so hard for us, after all humans are wired for learning. We are learning from the minute we are born and hopefully until we leave this earth. Aha…oh, yes, easy to learn but to learn about me? Now, you are getting personal!

Learning about ourselves can be tough because sometimes it comes like a kick in the stomach or an upset stomach. Who wants that? It doesn’t take too much of that kind of feedback and we all run. Coach Leaders are changing the wiring about feedback supporting others in an environment of emotional safety and trust to ensure the feedback helps another to grow stronger. Heck, how did we get here? It was because trusted mentors and leaders believed in us and nurtured our gifts and taught us how to smooth out the rough edges. They were on our side! So what makes this so hard?

Well, there are a couple of reasons. One reason is that in addition to our desire to learn is a much more innate desire to be loved, accepted and respected. The very act of feedback suggests that maybe we aren’t. So we tense up, get snarly, become defensive. Hey, why can’t I just be accepted as I am? Why can’t I be okay? Getting feedback is at the crossroads of our desire to learn and grow and to be accepted and loved.

The Neuroleadership Institute has continued to bring research to us about the drop dead importance of being aware of STATUS. Every brain is sensing for the answer, “is it safe here?” As coach leaders we pay attention to how we begin these stressful conversations and we make sure the other person knows that we think they are working hard, desiring to be effective, and they are eager to think deeply about and continually master the craft of their profession!

By Kathy Kee, PCC