Recently I’ve been listening to a lot of music by singer-songwriter-coach Barbara McAfee. Some lyrics I love to reference with leaders are from a song entitled, Who You Gonna Be? Here are the lyrics.

Who you gonna be while do what you do?
How’re gonna show up when you’re passin’ through?
I’m livin’ in this question.
You can too.
Who you gonna be while do what you do?

This song is a reminder about what is most important in any relationship: It is how you show up. Being intentional about the way you show up communicates your message better than any words you say.

Leaders offer opportunities for reflection to others about how they pay attention to their body language, voice tone, posture, setting and cultural details, knowing it will be the message conveyed first. If they get the body language right for the message, the communication will be clear.

On the other hand, if they have the exact words but the body language does not align with those words, their message may be lost, distorted or misunderstood.

They may not remember what you do or say.
But people will remember
How you come along the way.

People remember your presence, your energy, your passion, your joy—not your exact words.

So when opportunities for engaging in reflective or evaluation conferences come this spring, how do you want to show up? Caring? Committed? Supportive? Determined? What leadership presence will you create? You have spent the year supporting others for their successful results, sending messages of your belief in them, posing powerful questions to lift and engage their thinking, and now, in the most critical and/or anxious of all conversations how will you continue to align your words with your body language and your belief in their potential?

How will people feel and what will they be committed to long after your conversation?

By Marceta Reilly, PCC

Reference: Song lyrics by Barbara McAfee from While You’re Alive album