Brené Brown – This woman has changed my life! Who knew that 7 years ago while attending the International Coach Federation (ICF) Conference in London, I would meet a woman from Houston, TX who would significantly impact my thinking as a person, a coach, and a leader. While I did not literally meet her, I had the opportunity to hear her speak for the first time. Since then, I have devoured her work by listening to her TED Talk, reading all of her books including her most recent one, Dare to Lead, and joining many of you in the study of the concepts and ideas in her books. And, just this month, she became an option for us to view on Netflix.

So, I thought it would be fun if we joined together in a digital conversation with one another about the Brenéisms that have meant the most to us. We just completed a Book Study of Dare to Lead so I know there are many of you out there that have strong feelings about her work and how it has impacted your life and your work. The focus of this article will be her notion of rumbling with vulnerability.

Rumbling with Vulnerability is a concept that captivated me from the moment I read about it. I feel this concept and all that it means – risk, not knowing, chance, fear. Brown defines vulnerability as “the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” All of the things that are hard for me.

Over her years of research and study, she has discovered there are Six Myths of Vulnerability.

• Myth #1: Vulnerability is weakness.
• Myth #2: I don’t do vulnerability.
• Myth #3: I can go it alone.
• Myth #4: You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability.
• Myth #5: Trust comes before vulnerability.
• Myth #6: Vulnerability is disclosure.

She has much to say about dispelling each Myth and concludes, “Vulnerability isn’t just the center of hard emotions; it’s the core of all emotions. To feel is to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy.”

Along the way, Brené offers what she calls “Rumble Tools” to support our attempts to be vulnerable. One our group especially liked is called the “Square Squad” – a one-inch by one-inch piece of paper with the names of the people whose opinions of you matter most – your most trusted group. By design, this small square holds the names of those who will be honest and real with you.

A second “rumble tool” for leaders is practicing boundaries with language such as, “What does support from me look like?” It calls for clarity and sets the person or the team up for success by asking them to define behaviors of support. It also holds them accountable by asking for the kind of support they want without the opportunity of presuming support and then being resentful when it does not happen.

The third “rumble tool” we read about was not new to us as it is a coaching tool we have learned. The phrase, “Say more.” In this context, it invites the person to a deeper more productive place of rumbling.

“You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.”

What does this mean to you? How are you rumbling with vulnerability?