This month, in the midst of a pandemic, my intent is to mix a little lightness with our current reality. “Jack and the Beanstalk” is an old, old story about how a young boy engages in actions with the desire to be of service to his mother and himself – both living in a current reality of poverty. As the story goes – Jack climbed up high for new discoveries. It’s been years since I have even thought about this story and yet, my mind went to it as a way to connect to our current reality. When in a crisis, we don’t have to sell our cow for magic beans, and yet we can take actions that matter – we can climb up high. Here are three actions/habits that David Rock, the well-respected leader of the Neuroscience Institute, offered recently. The added comments are my own.

Three Habits in a Crisis:

1. “Take care of yourself.” This habit is so important at all times and clearly in our current reality. So, how do we take care of ourselves? Here are a few things I’ve heard from personal conversations with school leaders, from reading good books and from listening to authorities in the science of health and leadership.
   • Get a good night’s sleep, exercise, eat healthy foods, drink water, wash your hands and don’t touch your face (that’s a hard one).
   • Set office hours to keep from being on the computer at all hours of the day and night.
   • Read words of inspiration that keep you focused on the good in this world and within you.
   • Watch funny and inspiring movies and read books with uplifting messages.
   • Sing out loud.
   • Mind your values.
   • Hug others (even if it’s a virtual hug).

2. “Look after one another.” How do you best look after one another at times like this?
   
   One approach is to begin by asking how you want to be looked after. Next, think about others in your work and life. What do you think will give them a sense of being looked after? Some might say – give them some grace. Amen. Others who study human behavior would say – offer empathy. Daniel Goleman, renowned for his work with emotional intelligence, says that “Empathy may prove to be one of the crucial competencies as we go through and come out of the present crisis.”
   
   You know the importance of offering empathy. It’s about seeking to understand from another’s perspective and to feel some part of what they are feeling. A beautiful example is a recent conversation I had with a school principal. He spoke of his concerns for his staff, the students, their parents, and his co-workers. In particular, he thought of a family living in a one-room apartment with four children and how hard this time is for them. As he spoke and shared a little of their story– it was evident that he was feeling sadness for them and what they were experiencing. He was not feeling sympathy, rather he expressed pure empathy. Wrapped within empathy is the behavior of “witnessing the struggle,” by listening and communicating that we can feel a sense of what they are feeling. Goleman calls this “empathetic concern.” In the past, some leaders were told to “leave your feelings at the door” before they entered work. Those days are long gone. In frank language – no empathy, no leadership.

3. “Deliver what matters.” The truth is that we can’t do everything in the same way that we did it before the pandemic. We are called to ask ourselves what matters most at this time. Here are three out of many examples of what matters.

• Connections with each other matters. Be it a child or an adult, we all want to feel that we are seen and that we matter. Jack wanted to climb high in the sky. You are climbing high in a way that Jack could only imagine. Your pot of gold is a stronger sense of community where all belong. You are touching lives and there will be stories for years to come about how those you touched, including your own family members, felt during this challenging time.
• Ongoing learning matters. My heart is always filled with appreciation and respect when I listen to school leaders who are providing clear messages to staff about what matters. They are getting down to the core of what matters related to learning. And, teachers are stepping up to deliver needed instruction and emotional support in ways that they may not have dreamed they would.
• Clear communication matters. With permission from a client – here is an example of a recent communication offered by the principal to the teachers of the school:

“It is incredible to see what all of you have done for our students in just over three weeks! You have prepared high quality tasks for students, held class meetings, posted instructional videos as well as videos to clarify tasks. You have made yourself available through office hours to support students/parents and tracked down students who have not attended or have not engaged in the learning. You have done all of this and so much more while trying to manage the impact of COVID 19 on your own family and life. We are seeing the impact of COVID-19 on our school families who are trying to support their children’s learning and emotional health while they continue to work or are dealing with the loss of their jobs. Thank you for balancing high-quality learning and emotional care to ALL of these families. The grace and sensitivity we show to our families and each other is most important. Lastly, please continue to give yourself the same grace you offer to your students and families. More than ever, we are in this together! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!”

So, take care of yourselves, look after one another and deliver what matters. As you do these things, you are living out the theme of Jack’s story – be brave, have courage and carry on as you overcome this and any adversity. Thank you for who you are and what you are doing!