We are all writers today. We fling out words into the universe through text, email, Facebook and more. Even people who hate to write realize they have to do it, because the reality is you will need to write a note of thanks, send a text to your new teacher, respond to your boss or even write out a rebuttal for a tax assessment.

In Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side, author Trish Hall reminds us that Americans, on average, are texting about 30 times a day – twice as much as we did in 2011. It wasn’t so long ago that we would just make a phone call; now, no one does that except telemarketers who bug us all times of the day and night. On Facebook, more than half a million comments are posted every minute.

So many words and most often they are neither engaging, convincing, interesting or entertaining. Yet, just think about it, everything you are learning in your Results Coaching Seminars about communication is right at your fingertips of memory. You have learned how to speak and write to inspire, motivate and influence in these everyday situations of life or work. To break through the clutter of all the stuff in your memory, let’s remember a few things to really get people’s attention and even bring them closer in thinking or action. Let’s review what makes the difference in how people respond? Author, Trish Hall offers that there are some deep psychological truths behind what you have learned about communication; and in reconnecting to them these skills hold the potential to impact your personal and written communications and interactions.

Strategy #1: Tell the Truth

Interestingly, “facts” don’t matter much as tools of persuasion. Research that goes back decades confirms over and over that people prefer to receive information that matches what they already believe – and they avoid facts that disabuse them of their notions. So, generally, we can’t rely on just facts to influence; more important is emotion. Watch out though, people get angry if you mislead them. If you share an incident or a short story in your argument or point of view – make sure it rings true. If it doesn’t, you will lose the other person, emotionally or intellectually. Truth telling is a requirement!

Example: Texting

• No: Car broke down! See you soon.
• Yes: Delayed 20 minutes. Getting ride. Got you a coffee.
• Why: Accuracy matters. If you repeatedly lie, even in small things, people will stop trusting you. If you blame the car or the kid, it means you didn’t leave early enough. Offer an accurate time frame and even a peace offering.

Strategy #2: Get to the Point – Bottom Line!

Most daily communications are too long and rambling. Get to the point. People are busy and they appreciate it when you don’t go on and on about something.

Example: About you to another

• No: I have been doing this work for twenty-five years. I have taught ELA, history, science, math in elementary and different subjects in secondary with emphasis on advanced academics. I have worked in about 18 different schools in four systems. I really love working with students and finding their natural strengths to motivate them.
• Yes: Having spent almost three decades in this work, my passion is finding kids’ strengths to motivate their learning.
• Why: Honest, direct and short.

Strategy #3 – Just Ask

You will remember this! People underestimate the value of … “just asking for what you want.” Research shows that even strangers are more willing to help than we expect. Don’t apologize, and be direct. If you do ask and you’re rejected, you’ve lost nothing. People don’t ask for help because they fear rejection; they’re anxious about rejection and they’re embarrassed that what they have to say may be perceived as unimportant. Humans are wired to want to help. It’s not hard to understand the psychology – just look at yourself! When someone asks you for something or to carry the load, you probably make an effort or are genuinely pleased to help – even if it might be an inconvenience.

Example: Getting someone to show up

• No: Dear Everyone, I’m involved this year with the scholarship committee and I’m hoping that some of you might come to the celebration after school next Monday. Let me know if you can come.
• Yes: Dear Kathy, I’m excited to be on the scholarship committee that will present five scholarships on Monday afternoon in the auditorium. A number of people you know, including Dr. Brown and Dr. Eurick, will be there. I’d love to leave your name at the door for admission. The program begins at 4 p.m.
• Why: It’s personal, so you want to respond. There is a “social status” cost in skipping a reply.

Strategy #4: Know your Audience. That means Listening!

To reach someone, ask questions and really listen to the answers. We’re persuaded by people who make it clear they understand us, that they relate to our concerns. So, seek out opportunities for connection with others. If you are warm and friendly and seem like you’ve tried to understand me, I’ll be more likely to go along with you. It’s a brain thing: You give me status – you see me. Those things we share, how you recognize me, what’s in it for me — these create a sense of safety, I’m pulled toward you. Think about this in every conversation you write or speak. What does our audience, whether one person or 50, really want to hear?

Example: A condolence letter

• No: Dear Karen, I was so sorry to hear about your loss. It’s very hard to go through that. I’m thinking of you.
• Yes: Dear Karen, I was so sorry to hear about your father. I remember meeting him at your son’s wedding. What a kind and caring man, just like you. His conversation with me was all about his pride in you. Thinking of you.
• Why: Always make it personal to show you know your audience and what will make them feel connected to you and appreciative of the note. Think about what the other person would want to hear.

Strategy #5: Banish Jargon

When we are talking to someone in our field of work, you can theoretically get away with phrases like, “growth mindset,” “optimize differentiation,” “SCARF,” etc. It doesn’t always make us sound smart; it can make us sound smart-alecky or a robot. Worse even than Alexa or Siri. Use conversational language.

Example: Writing to someone who just interviewed you for a job

• No: Thank you very much for taking the time to talk today. I am certain that I will be able to contribute a great deal to your organization, especially by optimizing your relationships with the media and employing the multilevel skills I have developed over the years. I look forward to hearing from you.
• Yes: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk today. I have some additional thoughts on how you might get more media attention without adding additional staff members. For example, I think you could do more with Instagram stories. I am happy to send more details if you would like that. Looking forward to hearing from you.
• Why: All the gratitude, none of the jargon.

No matter the audience, write or speak simply and clearly. It, sometimes, might take a few moments longer as you consider and are intentional about your language, but the effort will pay off. You’re not looking for a long answer in return — just an answer, and ideally, a “yes.” Remember Results Coaches know we can’t make someone do anything, yet we can influence and inspire them! Words matter!

Next: The importance of our email response.

Reference: Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side. Trish Hall