Hearts are everywhere! We may think first of romantic love based on what we are seeing in marketing and sales efforts that began right after the new year. This brief article is an invitation for you to think more deeply about how your heart is speaking to you—and how you are speaking to another’s heart.

We actually have three brains: Head Brain, Heart Brain, and Gut Brain. These brains Have neural networks—neurons, neurotransmitters, proteins, and support cells that allow them to function independently of the brain in our head. This discovery happened more than 25 years ago by neurocardiologist Dr. J. Andrew Armour and Professor of Pathology and Cell Biology Dr. Michael D. Gershon. What we notice in our bodies as “heart felt” or “gut wrenching” are not metaphors. They are our Heart Brain and Gut Brain sending us messages just as our Head Brain sends messages.

Clearly, language matters and influences the way we speak to ourselves (self-talk) and to others. When we are speaking from the heart, we use language such as: follow your heart, put your heart into it, you want this with all your heart. Such terms connect us to others’ Heart Brains, which is where deep connection and empathy live. For us to connect deeply with those we love, we use language that speaks from our heart to the heart of our loved ones. We are not from different planets—we are speaking the language of our brain preferences. When we use specific language to connect with the head, heart, and gut brains, we are more likely to find connection.

Speaking from the Head Brain, if you are curious and would like to learn which brain is your preferred leader in decision-making, Christoffel G. Sneijders, www.3brainsintelligence.com, has created an assessment that you can take for a snapshot of your preferred decision-making brain. You can find it here. https://www.3brainsintelligence.com/3-brains-preference-assesment

What are your insights about your own brain preferences? How will you access your new knowledge in your relationships and in your coach leader identity?

Christoffel Sneijders is an MCC (Master Certified Coach) through the ICF (International Coaching Federation) and the author of Relationships? Which Brain is Talking?: The ultimate guide to happy & healthy relationships

Frances Shuster, M.Ed., PCC is a Leadership Coach and Faculty Instructor for Results Coaching Global, LLC.