I had the opportunity to attend a virtual webinar with Dr. Ben-Shahar this summer and was intrigued with what he had to offer, especially, as related to his recent book, Happier, No Matter What: Cultivating Hope, Resilience & Purpose in Hard Times. It wasn’t that I was hearing the ideas presented for the first time. It was more as if they were speaking to me with greater clarity, because let’s face it – many of us are living in hard times. Thus, I purchased the book with the audio and am enjoying the read and the way it’s speaking to me. Below are a few points which may also speak to you with a new sense of clarity about happiness.

According to Dr. Ben-Shahar, there are five core elements that indirectly lead to happiness. These elements are spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional well-being. For a short reminder, he refers to them as SPIRE. (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional) Below is a brief explanation of what each means, in the order presented in his book:

• Spiritual wellbeing – this is about living your life with a sense of purpose and meaning. While for some of us it can be strongly connected to religion, it does not have to be. A teacher who feels a true sense of calling in her work may experience a greater sense of spiritual wellbeing than that a monk who finds his work lacking or even devoid of meaning. And I’ll give you a hint of the research that backs this up in the book. Evidence shows that level of position does not always align with meaningful purpose, and at times, a custodian in a hospital actually experiences a greater sense of purpose in their work than a medical doctor in the same hospital.
• Physical wellbeing – This is about the mind-body connection and the impact they have on each other. It is about taking care of ourselves through both activity and inactivity in the form of rest and recovery. This one is speaking to me right now as I recover from knee replacement surgery. While I am not yet able to walk a full mile at one time, I am able to walk a portion of a mile, followed by rest as I move toward a full recovery.
• Emotional wellbeing – How do we deal with our feelings when they arise? What about the painful emotions, which will eventually come to each of us? And, how do we intentionally cultivate more pleasurable emotions, like joy, gratitude, and excitement and keep them with us for longer periods of time? According to Dr. Ben-Shahar we can all experience a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing, as we are honest about how we are feeling in the current moment. There is a section in the book where the doctor talks about the importance of not hiding or rejecting painful or sad emotions, because rejecting them can actually make them stronger. Thus, it’s important to express your emotions and share how you are feeling with a trusted friend, colleague, or coach.
• Intellectual wellbeing – This is having a mindset of being curious and challenged in our thinking. Research shows that people who ask questions and have a desire to continuously learn, are not just happier, but are also healthier. In fact – curiosity contributes to longevity.
• Relational wellbeing – The number one predictor of happiness is quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us. We are social beings with a need to connect and belong. And, it’s not just about relationships with others – it’s also about our relationship with ourselves. How easy is it for you to be with yourself? The more we can develop a better relationship with ourselves, the greater our ability to cultivate healthier and happier relationships even when apart from our loved ones.

So, what do you think as you are reading these five elements? Which of these are strong for you and which may be calling for more attention? And, is it really possible to become happier than we are today? Research findings by psychologists and neuroscientists including Carol Dweck clearly support that happiness levels can and do change; they are malleable, not fixed.

In the next two articles this month, I’ll offer specific ways to support leaders living and leading a happier life, specifically as they deal with the stressfulness of their work, a topic which continues to be included in our conversations.