One of the ICF (International Coach Federation) competencies is Managing Progress and Accountability. As coaches, we hold our clients accountable in ways that are supportive and not punitive or guilt-producing. There are no “shoulds” involved, only reminders or gentle probing about our client’s intent. I often find that clients hold themselves accountable just knowing that I plan to check in with them about their promises to themselves.

Which brings up an interesting question. Why is it we keep promises to others while not keeping promises to ourselves? An example is breaking an appointment with ourselves for that much-needed gym or exercise time in order to fit in an appointment for a friend or colleague who has broken an appointment with us, even if she or he had a very good reason for breaking it. We make ourselves available for others and take that time away from ourselves, sometimes to the detriment of our own health and well-being.

When my clients design actions they want to take, these actions are promises to themselves, which they often do not make outside the context of coaching. Without the support of a coach or an accountability partner, we tend to be very accountable to promises made to others, and very lax about promises to ourselves. So much so that we rarely even call them promises.

What if you consider gym time a promise to yourself? And you hold that promise as sacred as the promise to a family member, friend, or colleague? What promise will you make to yourself for the coming week? Who will hold you accountable without recrimination or guilt? How will you do this for someone else?