We are in the people business. People come in all sizes and ages, seeking our attention. As a leader you are called to listen all day long. So many people, so many challenges, so much time with others wanting you to listen to them.

So how do you listen? Do you listen with both your ears, connected to your heart, in full body listening, or are you half listening, with your mind elsewhere?

In order to be fully present with someone, to listen with your full body, to really hear them, you must attempt to stop all the other chatter happening within yourself. How do you do that? There are some proven methods for clearing yourself in order to hear what someone is sharing with you, both in the words they use and the emotions they unveil as they speak or even in their silence. Here are a couple of ways to clear yourself to hear:

1. Take some deep breaths and as you breath out, imagine the thoughts crowding for attention leaving you, floating away or even moving into a filing cabinet for you to visit at a later time.

• Breathe in deeply feeling new energy entering your body.
• Breathe out slowly – releasing whatever is vying for your attention. You might even say, “You are important, and I will get back to that at a later time.” Perhaps you need to jot something down to remember to attend to it at that later time.
• Depending upon all you are dealing with, it may take more than one deep breath to clear your head and body and allow you to be present with whomever you are listening.

2. Release and Receive – Release the tension in your body as you visualize something that brings you joy. It can be a person, a pet, or a location. Spend a few minutes thinking about that person, pet or location. How does that visualization and memory offer you a sense of support?

Years ago, I coached a high school leader who seemed to be dealing with one challenge after another, leaving him feeling like his stomach was tied in knots. He determined that spending a minute or two shifting his state of being to a pleasant memory was helpful to him. He would look at a painting on his office wall that brought him a sense of joy and helped him release internal tensions or stress in order to be open to receive the next person coming in to talk with him. Most likely, he was also taking some deep breaths as he was visualizing something of joy.

What do you think? How helpful is taking a few deep breaths or visualizing a loved one or a scene in offering a transformation of thinking as you seek to listen fully to another person?

Thank you to Marcia Reynolds for sharing ways to visualize in order to prepare for being present in a coaching conversation. See her book, Coach the Person Not the Problem (2020).