Jennifer came to our coaching call with this question: “How can I maintain my composure when I am feeling emotionally drained and I seem to always be putting out fires—both figuratively and literally? I actually had to deal with a fire in the boys restroom this week!”

After some exploration of her topic, she decided that she wanted to develop ways to calm herself in the midst of an often-chaotic high school environment. She wanted steps or a saying—her inner voice—something specific to call upon to remind herself to stay in response mode rather than reactive mode. She came up with this list for herself: breathe (3 times), count from 1 to 10, go to the beach and walk, have pictures in my office of calm scenes, stop taking things personally, imagine calm, pause before responding, give myself time to think rather than just react. She then separated her list into things to do in the moment (i.e., breathe, count to 10) and things to do outside the immediate setting (i.e., walk on the beach). Her two-pronged approach offers the opportunity to recognize her habitual response patterns as well as to bring more calmness into her thoughts overall, which offer more resilient and respectful ways of responding in the short and long term.

Jennifer clearly realizes that many of her anxiety-producing moments are out of her control. She CAN and WANTS to control her responses to such situations. She wants to be braver—to do things that “bring me back to me”.

Her vital commitment as a school leader to do everything she possibly can to ensure the engagement and success of her students and her staff is at the forefront for Jennifer at the beginning of a new school year. She recognizes that the way she shows up every day impacts the culture and climate of her school. She knows she must be intentional about sometimes being the Chief Calm Officer as well as the Chief Thinking Officer.