David Rock, neuroleadership expert, recently said in a radio interview that “self-regulation is the key to human performance,” and that got me thinking.  How do I self-regulate and what am I regulating? Hmm…

My hunch is that before I can self-regulate, there is a call for clarity around what I want to do, have, or be (my personal and professional goals). Let’s go with the “be” part for now.  Suppose I say that I want to be totally present whenever I enter into a conversation with my clients, putting everything else aside except for what happens within the space where my client and I meet.

Now, suppose that five minutes before my next coaching appointment, I receive a personal call from a friend who is extremely upset over some bad news she has just received.  Because we are like sisters, I’m extremely empathetic and find myself on the verge of tears, crying alongside my friend, when I realize it’s time for my next client appointment.

How do I self-regulate and prepare myself for immediately greeting my client in the way that I intend to “be”?  I self-regulate by taking a few deep breaths, gently setting my concern for my friend in a safe place to pick up later in the day – and I turn toward my client with a greeting that shows I’m committed to being his thinking partner.  It’s not always easy to set personal distractions aside and yet, if I don’t self-regulate, what kind of a thinking partner am I?

What about you?  What’s coming to mind for you about the power of self-regulation?

By Vicky Dearing, PCC
Chief Marketing Officer
Coaching for Results Global