Much of what is called “coaching” is advising or going for the easy “fix” or solution that seems obvious to the coach. What we continue to learn and be ever more mindful of are the dynamics that are hidden beneath the surface. The very fact that they are hidden makes them invisible both to coach and the client without exploration into what the client initially perceives as the problem for which they are seeking a solution. Moving too quickly toward fixing the problem or solution-finding usually brings about a temporary result rather than a long-lasting one.

According to Michael Bungay Stanier in The Advice Trap, your job as a coach is to stop seeking the solutions and start finding the challenges. This idea aligns with the ICF Core Competencies that focus primarily on the WHO of the person—not the WHAT of the situation. The WHO is always at the core of how the individual shows up to deal with the WHAT of the situation. Our main charge as coach leaders is to grow the capacity in others. For that to happen, focusing on each individual is necessary. Situations that occur frequently are not solvable by generally applied strategies. Each individual comes with their own personal challenges around any situation. The way to move forward is to support each person in uncovering underlying personal challenges and co-creating options for moving forward with the individual choosing next steps.

According to Stanier, a powerful question to ask that supports a deeper dive into your partner’s thinking while exploring is, “What feels like the real challenge here for you?” Of course, we never advocate for asking formulaic questions, so this question comes only after your partner has given verbalized their thinking to you and you find a need to move toward uncovering the real challenge.

The greatest gift we offer to those we lead, and our coaching clients is to be present and listen deeply for what is hidden beneath the surface. And then to ask, “What is the real challenge for you right now?”