Coach-like Responses in Times of Great Uncertainty
As coaches, we must ground ourselves in order to be of greatest support to our clients and those we lead. Our awareness that emotions often drive responses and decisions calls on us to acknowledge and name our own emotions. Once we have done so, we are more able to move toward a more rational thinking and creative approaches to our current situation, however it presents itself to us in our lives and work.
In a recent posting of the HBR (Harvard Business Review), one of the emotions acknowledged and felt by the HBR edit staff was grief. Different kinds of grief were discussed. We are experiencing collective grief, which was brought about because we know that things have changed in ways we do not yet know or understand. There is also a feeling of anticipatory grief, which is the feeling we get about what the future holds when we are uncertain. Anticipatory grief is about broadly imagined futures that threaten our sense of safety, which often shows up as anxiety or fear. Many of us are also experiencing anger or sadness due to circumstances beyond our control.
So, what do we do about these emotions? We must acknowledge and name. Then we are able to come to a place of acceptance: This is happening; I must figure out how to proceed.
Some possibilities:
- Allow your emotions to be present yet find some balance in your thinking. Rather than focusing only on the worst-case scenarios, consider adding positive outcomes and images to your thinking.
- Ground yourself in the present. Breathe deeply. Bring yourself into mindfulness of this present moment. Stay in the present for right now. Anxiety and fear live in the future.
- Let go of what you can’t control.
- Remain compassionate of others. Every individual’s experience and journey is different.
As we ourselves become grounded, we are ready to show compassion and empathy through witnessing another’s struggle, without judging or needed to “fix”. We are able to stay grounded in the present, while partnering to create new thoughts and actions based on the current situation and environment.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. After so many virtual meetings with people, many of us are definitely feeling a sense on disconnection and are grieving the closeness we have had with others. I truly miss the 500 little faces at school each day. Thank you for suggestions on how to handle this, and be more present for those that I need to coach at my school.
I love let go of what you cannot control! That lifts the uncertainty from my brain. Thank you!
Hi Frances!!! Thanks for this article. I attended the Coaching Session for LRSD in February and loved it. I am totally engaged in Coaching and Leadership.
I wanted to tell you that this kind of reading can change your day. This situation is an eye opener for the future. As you mention in your article nothing will be as it was before. Maybe we won’t shake hands ever again, or maybe we will never hug. However we can all look for the positive side of the new scenarios. Possibly we all we value more our nurses, doctors- and teachers- real heroes in this crisis.
Also, I couldn’t agree more about your comment on cooperation: I had a funny experience to share with you. I found a box of 12 masks, the cheap kind that I bought for cleaning (the chlorine gets me bad) months ago. I decided to mail some to my close ones . The mail office employee told me to pay for “insurance” and” tracking” because otherwise he could not guarantee they would make it. I ended paying 4 or 5 times the price!!! I am grateful I had them and that I could share with my mom who lives in a nursery home in Florida (positive side)
Anyways, I hope you are safe and I hope to see you in a near future. I am not sure if LRSD will approve the second parte of the Coaching Session, as we all wanted. But if it does not happening, I might go on my own. I learned so much and applied in my personal life.
Again, Thanks for everything.
I love suggestions. Thank you for making me aware that we are not alone in this. It’s ok to express, let go and be concerned.
Thank you, Ms. Shuster for the insight into how to handle all the uncertainty that surrounds us lately. I was once again reminded that in order to help others you must be in a grounded place yourself. Finding that silver lining to an otherwise dark cloud that looms heavy in this day and age of pandemics and national division may be what can transform a bleak outlook into a manageable setting.