As a dedicated leader, you know that looks matter. And, I’m not just talking about the way you dress at work – however, that does send a message about how you care. Instead, I’m talking about the look on your face and with your body as you interact with others.

One of our RCG partners, Kathy Kee, tells the story of going into a school restroom for staff and seeing a sign on the wall asking the title question above, “Do you look like you care?” (or a form of it). Looks matter and in the rush of each day, people are watching you. In fact, one important way you influence the mood of others and the climate of your school or business – is just from the way you look.

As you head toward the end of a school year, busy in conversations around goal completions and forward thinking, below are three points to keep in mind as you interact with others and show that you care – really care. Let’s take a look to see how these points speak to you.

1. Prepare to be present as you look at the person in front of you. It does not serve you or others well to rush from one meeting to another without taking a minute or two to re-center, breathe, and think about how you want to be in your upcoming meeting. Being present is one of the greatest gifts you give to another person, whether at work or in your personal life. It intentionally shows that you care about them and are curious to learn from them. In fact, Dr. Marcia Reynolds, in her work with Breakthrough Coaching (WBECS, 2021), says that to be present with caring curiosity gives the speaker a true sense of safety, belonging and dignity.
2. Be and look more interested than interesting. This is a reminder that your role is to listen more and talk less (I continue to work on this one). Be careful not to interrupt, unless the person is repeating themselves, or going on and on. Then, reflect back the essence of what you hear, including key descriptor words they stress, checking in to make sure your reflection aligns with what the speaker intended to express. As a leader who cares, you want people to leave your meeting thinking:
   • I feel like I was heard.
   • Our leader really seemed interested in what I was saying.
   • It felt safe to say what was on my mind, and then I was ready to listen to what the leader had to say to me.
3. Be and look curious. You know that the best way to support someone else is to believe in them and to offer a sense of curiosity in how they see their work, how they plan for their work, and how they celebrate their accomplishment. Curiosity might sound like this:
   • As you examine the goals you set for yourself this year, what are you celebrating?
   • What are you learning about yourself through your work this year?
   • What stretch goals for the following year will best support your growth and the growth of our school?

Being a coach-leader who sincerely cares about those she leads pays attention to how she looks. After all, looks matter.

How do you describe the looks you give to others as you move through the many demands of your day? Do you look like you care? Want to learn more about any of the points above? Join us for one of our upcoming seminars.