Earlier this month I shared a personal story about emotions and how I grew up understanding them – or maybe not. For example – I can begin to cry at times when I am being coached. I don’t want to cry then, and yet here come the tears. I feel things deeply. When I was at college, and we sang our sorority song “I Hear the Call of Zeta” I would get teary. It was embarrassing and I didn’t understand why I was crying. I have a hundred stories like that. I cried at my own wedding – emotions spilling out, messing up my mascara. I was happy – yet the tears came. I cry when I’m watching happy and sad movies or reading sad or heartfelt stories. That seems natural. Yet – why do I cry? Well, I’m no therapist nor have I ever talked with one about that. Perhaps I will in the future. I share this story with you so that you will think about emotions, your own and those of people with whom you love, work with and coach.

Dr. Artūrs Miksons, MD, is a psychotherapist and head doctor of the Riga Stradins University Clinic of Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy. In a TED talk, he shared that “As we grow through life, we’re taught what’s “ok” and what isn’t, when it comes to demonstrating emotions. We learn to push them away, reject, or suppress what has been deemed socially unacceptable. But when it comes down to it, emotions are neither “good”, nor “bad”. They simply are — in our DNA. And the best approach is to simply be, and experience, and express those emotions in a constructive way — be that to family, children, colleagues, friends, or a stranger on the street.”

Here is a link to his TED talk – http://tedxriga.com/dont-neglect-your-emotions-express-them-constructively/

So, what is this saying to us as coach leaders and professional coaches? I believe it means that to sit with someone who is experiencing emotions in the moment is a gift that keeps on giving. It is wrapped in a non-judgmental package and colored with empathetic ribbons. So, next time emotions come forward from another person – be still, give space, ask what is happening for them and stay out of your own story, other than to feel with your client, colleague, friend or loved one. And here is one more little nugget – as we understand our emotions, we have the opportunity to change their story. Want to know more about emotions? Join us in one of our upcoming seminars or bring us to your district.