If we continue to spend our time identifying what people are not doing and giving people feedback (advice) about how to be better, we’ll languish in the business of adequacy. To get into the excellence business we need some new techniques:

• Look for the outcomes; what people are doing that is working.
• Replay your instinctive reactions. Describe what you experienced when her moment of excellence caught your attention. There’s nothing more believable and more authoritative than sharing what you saw from her and how it made you feel. Use phrases such as “This is how that came across for me,” or “This is what that made me think,” or even just “You see what you did there?” Those are your reactions—they are your truths—and when you relay them in specific detail, you aren’t judging or rating or fixing her; you’re simply reflecting to her the unique “dent” she just made in the world, as seen through your eyes. And precisely because it isn’t a judgment or a rating, it is at once, more humble and more powerful. (Reflective feedback: value statements/reflective questions)

Now for the final word on ADVICE.

In every class we teach there is the moment. “We aren’t coaching all the time, are we? When is the time for advice?” You are right. There is a time for giving advice. So, if you must, Michael Stanier says, do it well!

• Define it. Know the right time and place.
• Diminish it. Toning down the assuredness in the way you present your idea reduces pressure. Such as, “Well, you have some options.” “I’m not sure how useful this will be….”
• Deliver it. Label it. “Let me give you my best advice.” Be fast, clear, bold.
• Debrief it. Check how the advice landed. “How does that give you what you were looking for?” “How is this idea/advice sparking new ideas for you?”

Leadership is about getting results. Advice Giving is a leadership behavior. Coaching is the least utilized or mastered of all leadership skills and behaviors, even though coaching is a clear driver of culture, engagement, and bottom-line results. So the best advice – of this article…be more coachlike! 😊