In coaching, there is typically a gap between where the client currently is and where she or he desires to be. Our role, as coach, is to support the client in closing the gap, either partially or completely.

We have this saying in our Level II seminar: “Think what you’ve never thought, write what you’ve never written, create what you’ve never created and be who you’ve never been – at least not yet!” Honestly, that is coaching in a nutshell.

If someone has hired you to coach them, then that means they want to make a change – close or shorten the gap. Hint – don’t coach someone who does not want to make a change. You’re wasting his or her time and yours.

To support creating change for your client, begin with these three points:

1. Provide a space for the client to figuratively lay his thoughts out on the table (or spread his garments out before deciding what to pack for his upcoming journey), without judgement. These ideas may be organized or completely scattered, or any place in the middle. Your role is to offer your complete presence with space for his thinking. You listen deeply to both his words and his emotions, and when you speak, it is intentional. If you are not sure what to say – you don’t say anything. Your comments and questions are brief and spontaneous – offered as a result of what the client has expressed. You might say, “Gosh, as you described that, I can actually feel the sensation of being there with you. It sounds like a fun place to be. How does it sound to you?” Then – you listen to the response of the client. You might later ask, “What’s at the core of your desire for this change?” Or, “What’s making this so important to you right now?”
2. Ask a vision question. For example, Mary says she wants a better working relationship with her team. You might ask, “If you had a better working relationship with your team, what would you be doing differently than you’re currently doing?” Notice the question is about Mary, the client, and not the team since the team is not part of this conversation. However, you might ask, “If your team members were here with us, what are you thinking they would say about changes they desire for the team?” Understanding other’s perspectives is always helpful for the client. Another possible vision question is, “What do you want to change in you to live the life you really want to live?”
3. Travel the path with your client. Remember the metaphor shared earlier this month about riding in the car with your client? Keep riding as the passenger, moving in the direction that your client wants to go. Even if your client makes small moves in a conversation – that’s a move. We don’t eat elephants all at once so we are certainly not going to create a gigantic move all at once, and yet it is possible. That’s the reason that coaches ask for clarity about what the client wants in the current conversation that will move him closer toward his desired results. We call this establishing the coaching agreement for the session. This is spelled out with greater clarity in the International Coach Federation PCC Markers.

Clearly, there are many more than three steps to creating change for your client. The intent of this article is to whet your appetite to learn more. You may decide to pull ideas from our first two articles, which also support creating change. And, you are always welcome to join us for one of our upcoming seminars and/or webinars and experience for yourself the ongoing power of coaching.