Again, Marcia Reynolds, in Coach the Person, Not the Problem, speaks to us about when not to coach. She says we Do Not Coach if we cannot do the following:

1. Let go of how we want the conversation to go. If not, we lead, we force, and we solve which is contrary to what coaching is. If we want the person to find their own solutions, we must detach from how we want the conversation to go. With full presence, we inquire and explore until they have determined the outcome and the direction of the conversation.
2. Believe in the person’s ability to figure out what to do. We do a mindset check before the conversation begins. What, judgment, if any, exists? If we doubt their ability to find a way forward, our impatience will impact the conversation.
3. Feel hopeful, curious, and care. If we carry strong emotions (anger or disappointment, for example), the person will react to our emotions more than our words. Practice releasing any fears that the conversation will not go well so that courage and optimism will show up.

You’ve heard it from us, “Not all conversations are coaching conversations,
yet every conversation uses your skills of coaching!”