Earlier this month, I offered some thoughts about the behaviors of a coach-leader and of a coach, showing how in many ways both roles are similar and at times different. One important way that coach leaders and coaches are the same is the way they offer and maintain presence to the person speaking. In order to maintain presence, you must stop the chatter going on in your own head, and that is a skill to be developed – since it is not typically a natural thing. The brain likes to make connections and when someone begins to speak to us about their situation and/or challenge we can easily go into our thoughts to make a personal connection. If we stay with our thoughts, we miss what the speaker is saying.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) describes the ability to maintain presence as being fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident.

Why is it important to maintain coaching presence? Honestly, this is such a gift to the speaker. And, a skill that will serve you in your work and in your personal life. Overall, most people are hungry for someone to listen to them without judgement. Here are two points about why offering and maintaining presence in a conversation is important.

• It develops a deeper level of trust between the speaker and the listener. When the listener reflects back what the client expresses and uses some of the speaker’s language in statements and questions, it holds the opportunity to send forth a feeling of safety to the speaker, encouraging them to say more about what they are feeling and experiencing.
• It supports deeper levels of thinking on behalf of the speaker. When the listener reflects back key points presented both verbally and non-verbally, the speaker can see things more clearly – like looking through a clean pair of eyeglasses. Also, questions and comments by the listener offer possibilities for deeper thinking and clarity by the speaker. For example, the client says – “I feel stuck and not sure where to go.” The listener might say, “What are you thinking needs to change for you to feel unstuck in this situation?” A question like this typically offers an opportunity for deeper thinking for the speaker.

Coaching presence is like a gift that keeps on giving. Want to know more about how to offer and deepen your coaching presence? Join us for one of our upcoming seminars or bring us in to your district to work with you and other coach leaders, and to experience the power of coaching presence.