I was intrigued to read from the work of Marin Seligman that individuals can actually learn to be helpless. It’s called the learned helplessness theory. The theory evolved from the study of dogs that after experiencing pain for prolonged periods of time just gave up and stopped trying, even when the pain stopped. You can read more about this study in a number of Seligman’s writings, including Flourish (2011). The results of this study were the catalyst that inspired Seligman to dedicate his time, energy and research on developing attitudes of well-being rather than depression, and that in turn opened the door to positive psychology. One of his studies investigated the correlation of optimism to a stronger immune system in senior citizens. Need I say more?

Seligman offers research-based exercises, which can influence our thinking and lead us toward a stronger state of well-being. Here are three.

1. The Gratitude Visit – Close your eyes and call up the face of someone still alive who years ago did something or said something that changed your life for the better. Someone you have never thanked and that you could meet face-to-face. Write a letter of gratitude to him or her and deliver it in person. Read the letter to the person, not telling him or her about the letter before you arrive. After reading the letter, notice the person’s reaction and while she or he may want to stop you before you finish reading it – keep going. Once finished, talk together about the content of the letter and your feelings for each other. When we express gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event and expressing gratitude to others strengthens our relationship.
2. What Went Well Exercise – People tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful. Worse, a focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and possible depression. While it is always helpful to spend time analyzing bad events to learn from them for future use – we’re much better served to spend more energy thinking about and savoring what went well. Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep to write down three things that went well that day and why they went well. This routine for a week has the strong possibility of becoming a habit and increasing the odds of happiness.
3. Signature Strengths Exercise – This exercise encourages you to own your own signature strengths by finding new and more frequent uses of them. A signature strength brings a sense of ownership as you see yourself doing it. You feel excited and determined to use it, even as you develop greater skills in its use. It invigorates rather than exhausts you and it shows up in personal projects that revolve around it. There are assessments available that help people identify signature strengths. Go to www.authentichappiness.org for more information. Let’s say that a signature strength for you is creativity. You may decide to set aside a few hours each week to write the next best selling novel. Or, if your strength is self-control, you may decide to work out in the evening rather than watch TV. Create new ways to use your signature strength and reflect on the impact this is having on your overall state of well-being.

Want to know more about positive psychology techniques? Join us at one of our upcoming seminars and see what a difference it makes for you and those around you.